Chocolate - The Legal Elixir of Community 1-12-10

A Nearby Nursing Home

Research studies have suggested there may actually be a scientific basis for chocolate craving in some individuals, especially women. It is suggested that perhaps as many as 40% of women have a neuroreceptor, which when filled with a ‘molecule’ of chocolate, causes an affective change that feels really really good. Andrew Drewnowski at the University of Michigan looked at some of the 380 compounds found in chocolate. There are some compounds in chocolate that actually activate a neurohormonal cascade that is most pleasurable. Chocolate induces the brain to produce natural opioids, chemicals in the same class as those making opium of such high value on the street. Researchers at the Neurosciences Institute in San Diego found three compounds in chocolate produce effects nearly identical to that of marijuana’s active ingredient, tetrahydrocannabinol (THC), but in lesser degree. There are also two chemicals in chocolate which inhibit the natural breakdown of anandamide, a naturally occurring substance in the brain that can make one feel really good - ‘high’ is the usual street parlance for such affective states.

Ellen Kuwana who writes about neuroscience states, “Chocolate also contains phenylethylamine, a chemical related to amphetamines. Like amphetamines, this chemical causes blood pressure and blood-sugar levels to rise, resulting in a feeling of alertness and contentment. Phenylethylamine has been called the "love-drug" because it quickens your pulse, as if you are in love.” These effects may well explain why chocolate is an essential nutrient in some people and why some chocolateurs can charge absolutely outlandish prices for their therapeutic wares.

I have recently seen chocolate fetching as much as $129.44 a pound in specialty shops, not including tax or shipping. I am certain one can spend far more if so inclined. It seems that substances with powerful affective therapeutic powers do have a high street value. One may need be concerned about fiscal side effects if over-indulgence becomes problematic. Most insurance policies will not include chocolate in their standard drug formularies. Fortunately, one will not incur legal expenses or have altercations with law enforcement as these formulations are still street legal. It is most fortunate for me that these compounds are legal because I have taken to mid-level distribution of them to some of the most vulnerable people in the world, eighty and ninety year old bed-ridden women stashed in the back halls of nursing homes.

Every Sunday I visit a large sprawling nursing home near my house, taking communion to those who never will have the opportunity to visit their churches again or to come back out into this grand world we live in. One of the things I have been doing for years as adjunctive therapy for these dear souls confined in institutions is to bring them brightly colored fresh flowers. Their spirits seem to rise almost at once. The grayness of spirit that is so prevalent with institutional life seems to dissipate, if for but a season.

Only recently, I have found even better front-line therapy for older women facing the affective blues - chocolate in several forms. Wrapped in plain brown wrappers, I have no problem getting it into the buildings and have found no resistance from the staff at my sweetening up their patients. I do make some reasonable efforts to avoid creating insulin crisis in patients with diabetes or other issues of sugar metabolism. That aside, I am fairly fast and loose with my distribution, carrying a Tupperware box with my sweet lode inside.

Unwittingly, I just found an effective way to administer chocolate. I gave a chunk of chocolate to a nearly mute older woman tethered to an oxygen bottle behind her wheelchair. It became evident during the next number of minutes that she did not have the dexterity to even unwrap my little elixir from the outside. It became evident that the properly formed bar of chocolate was now a semi-viscous thing that was quickly going to loose its street value. With no alarm, unwrapping the gooey thing, I told her that she was going to get sweetened up - now. Obviously struggling with some sort of neurological challenge, she even had a hard time with my getting the chocolate into her mouth. What she did not have a hard time doing was breaking into an authentic half smile and locking eye contact with a deep delicious sense of gratitude for reminding her that she was still visible and of value. It is so very easy to feel invisible when living in an old drooping overweight body that no longer talks and no longer has the ability to control itself; sequestered in the dark shadows of a nursing home.

A thick layer of what was essentially chocolate syrup covered the bit of brown foil and by turning this inside out, I was to get most of it into her mouth, wasting precious little. During the process she ended up with a perfectly painted set of very wide dark brown lips. I told her she looked like a five year old girl caught smacking on the chocolate pudding that was being saved for dinner. She again smiled as best as she could. Not chiding her, I simply suggested dark brown was not the best shade of lip gloss for her. She smiled again. Getting some moistened paper towel, she was easily tidied up. I told her we would stick with natural lip color for the rest of the day.

Magically, eighty years of wear and tear fell away. Suddenly, an enchanted five year old was smiling, knowing the universe could be sweet and friendly after all. For the rest of the day she did not have to wear an invisibility cloak. The fleck of community I enjoyed with Margie was sublime. For certain, I will always show up with plain brown paper wrappers in the future, just for her.

Remember, chocolate is not just for Halloween or Valentine’s Day. It is for every day that you want to remind someone special the universe is a friendly place and she is part of it. It’s legal.

“And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.”