Being Demoted to One’s Level of Competence 8-17-11

Anderson, South Carolina

Exploring one’s true powerlessness can be disconcerting. One can perhaps embrace the idea he’s not cut out to be Emperor of the world, but embracing powerlessness over things most people seem to handle with facility is a different matter. After six decades I lack relational skills most ten year olds have readily acquired.

Happily, I’m not in a dark night of the soul but I am in an introspective place, one which facilitates exploring one’s powerlessness. Last Saturday a memorial service was held for a friend of many years. During the course of the service and reception following it became evident there was something not working for me. Despite knowing half the people in the church, some for twenty years, I’d never been in the homes of any of these people who treat me like the Prodigal son in public spaces, but never invite me into their lives. Conversations made it obvious these people have extensive interactions with each other, traveling, buying vacation properties together, socializing in each other’s homes. I don’t even know where they live.

If this was an isolated episode it would be easy to discount it and stop cogitating about my deficiencies, but it’s not. In my own church of fifteen years I’ve had nearly the same history, and so it was dozens of times in as many states. I don’t know where most live and have never been admitted into their lives. As at the funeral venue, these people have extensive interactions with each other, traveling, buying vacation properties together, socializing in each other’s homes. I simply go home alone and eat at the kitchen counter and try finding travel options for single people. Even my offer to provide a free first-class ticket for a companion to enjoy world-wide travel met with deafening silence. Going around the world first class, alone, is not quite as glamorous as one might think, but it does beat standing at the kitchen counter.

Lawrence Peters wrote his satirical The Peter Principle as a tongue-in-cheek description of how it is we are promoted to our own level of incompetence. His small work became a management classic. Given enough time, all organizations will be populated with people working one level above their level of competence. He articulated how it is so many things go wrong throughout the world; his satirical writing style kept the text from being a downer.

I found the text especially pertinent to my own circumstances. I wonder if merely being born can constitute a promotion to one’s level of incompetency from the get-go. Many ten year olds prove their competence at sand box, making friends, developing well-placed loyalties, even inspiring and motivating others. I never did figure any of this out, and five decades past sandbox I still find a film of bewilderment over my understanding of how other people seem to make relational stuff so easy and natural. I remain mystified.

Figuring academic knowledge might clear up my early-onset dimness, I went off for a comprehensive dual masters program in management and systems engineering, even taking a residency in management. Something must not have adhered in my teachable moments. Three decades later, despite my prestigious education, I’ve never successfully managed a soul in my professional life and many would be quick to declare my incompetence spills over into my social life as well.

Peter suggests the world might be a far more efficient and productive place if we could just figure out what our highest level of competence is and decline the promotion that would find us biting off more than one can chew. But what does one do when merely being born might be one promotion too many? In recovery we learn to stay right-size with God’s help, bringing our reckless ego into line and down-sizing it.

For certain, I’ve never qualified for a corner office or promotion to Emperor of the world despite acquiring exemplary academic credentials and field experience. What I’ve learned in recent years by working in recovery is that by accepting Gods’ plan for my life I can accept I will never successfully manage people, that perhaps he has something else for me to be doing. We are told “We no longer strive to dominate or rule those about us in order to gain self-importance. We no longer seek fame and honor in order to be praised.” We learn there’s serenity and acceptance to be found in being average, in being ordinary. “Still more wonderful is the feeling that we do not have to be specially distinguished among our fellows in order to be useful or profoundly happy. Not many of us can be leaders of prominence, nor do we wish to be.”

Acceptance of our lot in life is the answer to all that ails us. Our value does not come from our stations in life. “In God’s sight all human beings are important, the proof that love freely given surely brings a full return, the certainty that we are no longer isolated and living alone in self-constructed prisons, the surety that we need no longer be square pegs in round holes but can fit and belong in God’s scheme of things – these are the permanent and legitimate satisfactions of right living for which no amount of pomp and circumstance, no heap of material possessions, could possibly be substitutes.”

I’m told in ancient sacred writings “I know the thoughts I have for you, thoughts for good, not for evil, plans that will give you hope and a future.” Perhaps God’s plan for me will include remedial work to learn competence at sand box, making friends, developing well-placed loyalties, even inspiring and motivating others. For me, being demoted a level to my level of competence would be a challenge, but with God all things are possible.