Journeys in Gratitude 2-5-11

Anderson, South Carolina

It’s hard to imagine getting out of a warm bed in the dark on Saturday morning and then driving in freezing rain to the gym could be anything other than slow torture. Sometimes we are granted wondrous surprises. A gentle teacher occasionally shows up to teach us important lessons of life.

Last Saturday when making a visit to the gym I did so out of a strained form of hopefulness. After having spent the entire night in nearly intractable pain from a yet-to-be-diagnosed muscle disorder, it seemed best for me to go to a place where those present are about embracing life and health, doing the next right thing to strengthen their bodies and minds. For more than five years going to the Y has served as a bit of metaphor for a personal pilgrimage. We go to those places where we believe spiritual, emotional, and even physical renewal and restoration can take place. Millions have gone to Lourdes and Medjugore, seeking healing of diverse kinds. In many ways I have found such with a mere drive of two miles, sometimes in freezing rain in the dark. Significant relief was to be found last Saturday with very tempered and mindful exercise.

Doctors visits and modern pharmaceuticals have me hopeful I might be able to get ahead of intractable pain that sometimes hammers me with a wake-up call when I least want it. Today my night journey to the gym was almost pain free. While waiting for the Y to open, I sat in wonderment and gratitude about how much better I am feeling today than a week ago.

Fr. Martin is a Catholic priest sharing a powerful message of emotional healing for those in recovery from the ravages of alcoholism and drug addiction. Most compelling is his description of gratitude as the queen of emotions. Gratitude is a certain cure for resentment, bitterness, anger, and the other affective scourges making so many of us miserable. When I have those all-too-rare episodes in which gratitude floods over me, colors brighten, music resonates, contentment washes over me; life fills with wonderment.

I’d just suited up and was on a stationary bike beginning an imaginary ride to nirvana when a middle-aged man on a cane made an uncertain trek over to me and in garbled voice asked my name. The next twenty minutes provided a lesson in gratitude. James turns out to have been victim to neoplastic nightmares growing in his head, car wrecks, and calamitous accidents. While sitting in the dark waiting for the Y to open, I was a bit smug thinking myself virtuous just for showing up and being the first one at the door. It turns out James has hobbled into the Y every morning for years, clawing his way back to some sort of meaningful life. For fourteen weeks after a car wreck he was in a coma. For ten years he could not talk. He can now make himself understood. He could barely walk to the stair climber but somehow he manages to pull himself up on it and do a real workout. It seems he too has found some sort of healing here in a place where others are doing the next right thing to strengthen their bodies and minds.

My smugness for showing up in the dark was burnt off by James’ commitment and the gratitude starting to come over me for even being able to get here at all. Gratitude is not unlike a muscle relaxant for the emotions. I found myself being rather grateful for those days when nothing hurts and I am able to do real exercise. Within the last week I had times when I was physically unable to drive a car. Today I can drive and climb. James tells me he never has times when he doesn’t hurt – a lot, yet, here he is, climbing.

King Solomon was reputed to have been the richest man on earth in ancient times and more importantly was considered the wisest. His aphorisms have come down as the pinnacle of Jewish wisdom literature. When asked of the Lord what he wished, if anything was possible, he petitioned for wisdom and knowledge of God, rather than long life, riches, and fame. Because God was so pleased with his priorities he granted him wisdom … long life, riches, and fame. Solomon figured out wisdom empowers those seeking it in doing the next right thing to strengthen their bodies and minds. One can easily surmise wisdom is fertile ground for gratitude. Those with wisdom know a good thing when they see it and are thankful for even the smallest things coming their way. Those with wisdom know life does not always work out as we hope; they respond with acceptance. Many of us are learning in our journey, acceptance is the answer to all our problems today. We learn to be grateful for what is in life, we enjoy the affective relaxant gratitude provides to our souls.

Today I could drive, without pain. But what if I couldn’t? Like, James, like Solomon, sometimes we just need to suit up, show up, and start climbing, even if it hurts.

Every time someone in the gym asks me how I am doing, I go through a short life inventory out loud. I’m above ground today (6,850 people die every day in this country). I got to sleep inside last night (millions of people in the world sleep outside on the ground every day of their lives). I have more food than I can possibly eat (more than a billion of us are in caloric deficiency). I have access to clean hot and cold running water at all times (2.5 billion people never have access to either). I have many people who care about me with the fullness of their hearts (loneliness and social isolation are a public health menace in western cultures). For now I am pain free most of the time (James is in pain all the time and millions more can relate to the emotional stresses of chronic pain). My dad died at age forty-five. I am almost sixty. As far as I can tell, I’m on major bonus time. The inventory comes up positive every time, even if there are times when body parts don’t work right.

Long life is in her right hand; in her left hand are riches and honor. Her ways are pleasant ways. And all her paths are peace. She is a tree of life to those who take hold of her. And happy are all who hold her fast … and the years of your life will be many. I have directed you in the ways of wisdom; I have led you in the upright paths. When you walk, your steps will not be impeded; and if you run, you will not stumble. Take hold of instruction; do not let go. Guard her, for she is your life.

Go to the gym, you might just end up with a lot more than bulked up muscle mass. A guy fighting gravity might come up to you and teach you about wisdom and gratitude, the affective elixir for our souls.